Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Why NDA’s make little sense

Sep 09
15

I used to think that an Non-Disclosure-Agreements (NDA’s) were a useful tool in business. I’ve now decided it’s a wedge that gets in the way of progress and conversations.

A typical scenario is between someone with an idea and someone who’s in the position to help fullfil that idea. This can be a VC with money, a contractor with skills or a business partner. The person with the idea begins the conversation…

“I need your help, but before I can even tell you how you can help, I need you to sign something.”

What a conversation killer. When you put it that way, it sounds rediculous but that’s exactly what these conversations are about.

  1. I don’t know you.
  2. I don’t know your idea.
  3. I don’t know your background or company.
  4. I don’t even know if I can help you.
  5. What is the upside for me to sign an agreement?

Let’s tell some more truths.

  1. Few people read their NDA’s closely. It takes time.  This is time that is spent looking at papers rather then discussing your idea and how to execute it. What would you rather spend time doing?
  2. It’s not clear to me how enforceable NDA’s are if they are violated.  It’s practically impossible to tell how information leaks out and who is responsible. If information leaks out will you really spend thousands of dollars in legal fees?  If you’re a startup the answer is always no.  The only time NDA’s get more serious is when they are with a larger publicly traded company.
  3. In most cases the NDA does exactly the opposite of what actually needs to be done.  If you need help the best way to get help is to put the word out. You’ll find the best people and the best answers to problems.

At best the NDA says that both people signing agree not to be assholes.  Of course you shouldn’t need a piece of paper to tell you that, after all you’re the one asking for help.

Ideas are worthless

Imagine you’re a brilliant entrepreneur, a savvy business women or a brilliant negotiator.  No matter how good your idea, the idea itself is worthless. Zero. Nada.  There are two things that matter with ideas:

  1. Execution
  2. Advantage

As I just said ideas are worthless, litteraly a dime a dozzen. Execution, is the way you implement the vision of the idea. No one is going to execute the idea the same way that you would execute it. It may be your drive, your passion, your tenacity. Whatever it is, no one else has it.  You have to be more passionate about your idea then anyone else.

The other thing that matters is your advantage. This may be your connections, your education, your life experiences, your expertise. Whatever you bring to the table that gives you the lead over your competition.

If you can execute your idea and you have an advantage you can tell your idea to people all day long and it doesn’t matter.  If other people don’t have the same passion and advantage as you they will never be able to bring the idea to completion that way that you would.

It’s been done.

Your idea, however brilliant has already been done. It’s been done by someone else, in some other country, in some related field, in some other time, to some similar product, using a derivitive technology. For all the NDA’s that I’ve signed I have never once seen an idea that is totally new.

Ideas are by nature evolutionary and build upon past ideas.  No matter how good your ideas may be it’s already been done. It’s has already been disclosed. A simple google search of your idea will show that there are tons of people doing what you’re trying to do.  What hasn’t been disclosed is how you’re going to execute your idea.

Ideas are a People Business

VC’s talk about intelectual property or the secret sauce for your idea. In most cases it’s not the patents sitting in a drawer. It’s people who have a vision to execute and a tactical advantage to make an idea successful.  If you’re asking for help you need the right people and to get them you need to have a lot of conversations.  The more NDA’s you sign the less total conversations you can have.  Among other reasons this is one of the reasons you won’t find VC’s signing NDA’s.

Someone is building your idea right now. What are you waiting for?

An NDA?

Winter updates

Dec 06
21

I hear that hard drive spinning up
The fans are spinning up too.
Come on, it’s lovely weather
To install an update or two.

I hear your family asking
And friends are asking you too.
Come on, and fix my computer
I have some spyware for you.

Double-click, double-click, double click, let’s go
The warm CRT glow
Let’s look at the progress bar it’s starting to grow

Double-click, double-click, double click, it’s grand
Just holding your hand
We install along with a song
In an obsolete wonderland!

Your modem’s nice and noisy
And comfy cozy are we
We’ll be here hours together
As we update a driver or three

Let’s take that upgrade before us
And sing a chorus or two
Come on, it’s lovely weather
To install an update or two.

I installed a virus blocker on your fresh install
It’ll finally bring that progress bar back from its crawl
We’ll be opening sites and pages
Without refresh and stop
And in the browser we will watch the popups pop
(Pop pop pop!)

There is something on your drive that even I can’t fix
Have you really been web browsing years with IE6
Has it really been another year since our last install
Your software needs another kick
From what I can recall.

I hear that hard drive spinning up
The fans are spinning up too.
Come on, it’s lovely weather
To install an update or two.

I hear your family asking
And friends are asking you too.
Come on, and fix my computer
I have some spyware for you.

Happy Holidays!

- Greg

P.S. You can read last years holiday poem here.

Pimp my Software

Mar 06
15

Bad things happen if you stay up watching TV while playing with PhotoShop.

Pimp My Software

(You can get your own printed T-shirt from CafePress)

Hopefully I’m not stepping on the toes of MTV.

If the IRS was an electric company

Feb 06
13

I was figuring out some tax things and it struck me how complicated and backwards the tax system is. Imagine if the IRS was an electric company

  • If the IRS was an electric company…You would have to compute your electric bill based on how much electricity you used last year and expected to use next year
  • The more money you make the more expensive the electricity gets
  • Electricity would change costs if you had more kids
  • Electricity would cost more or less depending on if you used it for work or personal use.
  • You would pay part of your electric bill twice. Once to your local electric company and the rest to the central electric company each would have different rules.
  • The electric company would charge you differently if you where single or married
  • If you owned a business you could be charged for the same electricity twice
  • If you didn’t pay your electric bill correctly the electric company could throw you in jail.
  • You would never actually receive a bill, you have to read your own meter and correctly calculate your bill per Kilowatt hour.
  • You would have to itemize your appliances

Don’t get me wrong I don’t have a problem paying taxes for government services that help this country grow. I just wish the system for doing so wasn’t completely backwards.

Twas the night before meltdown

Dec 05
8

Twas a night such as this one and all through the office,
Not a creature was stirring, not even the bosses.

The servers were hung on the blue screen with care,
In hopes that the updates soon would be there.

The employees were nestled away from their cubes,
While strange infomercials danced on their tubes.

My desktop and Tivo, my laptop and Mac,
Had just powered down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on my hard drive there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to save the bits from the platter.

Away to the tower I flew like a flash,
Removed my peripherals and emptied my cache.

The drive sputtered down and as the smoke cleared,
My data was lost I hadn’t backed up in years.

When, what to my caffeine filled eyes should appear,
But a miniature thumb-drive, and a couple of beers.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it could just do the trick.

More rapid than Google the futility came,
I shouted and cursed as I called them by name.

Now, Windows! Now, Dell! Now, Intel and Segate!
For such a disaster I deserve quite a rebate

A stack of CD’s to the top of the wall!
Now crash away! crash away! crash away all!”

So on through the night the curses they flew,
I wish I had backed up a sector or two

And then, in a twinkling morning of day,
I found some of my data squirreled away.

I sprang from my desk to try to re-make,
The dashed broken bits of a hard-drive mistake.
And just as I finish you’ll hear me explain

Run your backups by night or suffer my pain.

- Happy Holidays from Greg “yes I crashed my hard drive” Raiz

Coffee and Keyboards

Sep 05
28

My sister was drinking coffee and typing on her laptop one day when she knocked her coffee over and it spilled all over her keyboard. The coffee started dripping between the keys and in a desperate leap to save both the laptop and the paper she was working on she started blotting the keyboard with a nearby napkin.

After a little while the computer pops up a dialog. “Do you want to turn on sticky keys?”
Five minutes later I get a phone call from my sister…
“How the heck did the computer know my keys were sticky?”

(For anyone not familiar with stickykeys it’s an accessibility feature for Windows that can be turned on by pressing the shift key on your keyboard five times)